Hello, my name .... well, let's just say my name is Cassandra. Cass for short. I am the owner of a small espresso stand in the area outside of Seattle, and I am lying to you. I am lying for the sake of self preservation and to protect the identity of my customers whose stories may be shared in the blog.
Cassandra is a name with great meaning. She was a Greek woman cursed by the Gods to prophesy the truth and be thought insane. Some of the truths I will share with you will definitely give some of you pause and perhaps a reason to doubt my sanity. I doubt my own sanity every time I make a deposit at the bank so you're not alone.
There are many blogs out there by waiters and bartenders and other wage slaves but I'm not sure that there are any owners out there who are choosing to tell all out here behind the anonymity of the interwebs. If you are one and you stumble across this shout into the binary void feel free to contact me, I'm interested to read your stuff too.
A little about me: I have always been a liar. I started as a barista at 18 years old and got my job by lying. The first question was "Can you make coffee?" I answered with "I grew up in Seattle". A nice sleight of hand since, though, I had been drinking mochas since I was 13; I had never pulled a shot in my life. The next question was related the the celebrities that might come in to the cafe "Do you have a moral problem with lying?". To this I honestly answered: "No". The question was neccessary to preserve the privacy of the owner and the customers who might come in and I had no problem at all lying to stalkers and press that might come calling.
And here is the great secret of owners and staff in all aspects of the service industry: we lie. We lie all the time. We lie to make you like us, to make you tip us, to keep your business and just plain to avoid conflict.
Some lies are sins of omission such as neglecting to tell you that your wife drove through talking about ending your marriage because her ex is back and is hotter than you. Others are to keep your crazy in check: "Yes, I put EXACTLY 2 tablespoons of whole milk in your nonfat, 3 sweet n low latte". In truth, I don't have a measuring spoon so I eyeballed it. Enjoy the extra 1 gram of sat fat.
Your scarf looks lovely, your hair is great, and the most important "Thank YEW!" for that religious tract you just put in my tip jar.
We lie all the time, but this blog is about telling the truth. Telling you about how we feel about certain behaviors, good and bad, telling you the secrets of servers and small business owners everywhere. These truths can only be spoken of by starting out with a lie. Yes, my name is Cass and I'm the owner.
